Saturday, January 9, 2010

A History Lesson

I can one-up almost anybody by stating a random, unprovable, 'fact' based on incredibly vague historical 'knowledge'.

For example, I was at the mall the other day, and this rude saleswomen at the cosmetic counter was like, "You could really use some liner around your eyes to help them stand out a bit." Now, what was she saying? That I had ugly eyes? That I look like a man? Or was she just mad at me for testing out all her lip glosses with a (glaringly) large cold sore on my face?
So I casually said, "You know, back in Egyptian times, they put coal around their eyes for makeup, and like, they all ended up dying because it sunk into their blood streams and killed them."
She stared at me, dumbfounded. Mostly because what I said made absolutely no sense and was incredibly stupid, and YET- it made just enough sense to be somewhat credible.
I could see her mind working- I think I've heard something like that before....that Cleopatra lady did wear makeup I think....will my eyeliner kill me?!?
"So anyway," I said and shrugged, like, what you gonna do? I smiled kindly and I think, smartly, at her and strolled away toward handbags. I couldn't wait to educate the next salesperson on leather-making processes of the 1800's.

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