Sunday, April 11, 2010

Dear Mom.....

My girlfriends and I spent last weekend in California drinking wine and eating too much food. Friends + wine = much hilarity. I feel bad for guys sometimes, because they don't get drunk on white pinot grigio and then compare bra sizes, like we do. They don't know what they're missing.

The subject of our mothers came up, as it always does when you get six girls together who love to bitch and moan. The relationship between mothers and daughters is part psycho, part love, part hate. That's just how it is- mothers know how to annoy and torture their daughters, and in return those daughters know how to rebel and horrify their mothers. It's really quite poetic.

One of my friends mentioned that she would love to write just a really simple, honest letter to her mom instead of the usual 'I'm fine' phone call. My friend then said, "Dear Mom.....last Tuesday, I ate two Lean Cuisine's, drank four beers, and then masturbated during an entire Law & Order episode."

We laughed for about two minutes and then took turns sharing our own Dear Mom letters.

"Dear Mom.....remember that time I slept over at Kimberly's house in 11Th grade? I was actually losing my virginity in the back of a Ford Taurus."

"Dear Mom.....I have been drunk every Christmas morning since 1994."

"Dear Mom....when I go out to the bars, I typically seek out men that will be a detriment to both my physical and mental health."

"Dear Mom....mock neck turtlenecks will never be 'elegant', as you so fondly describe them."

Now, we wouldn't ever waste our time and actually write these letters to our moms, as they would just roll their eyes and toss the letter in the trash, mumbling about their daughters 'acting out' again.

Plus, I'm busy eating a Lean Cuisine and watching Law & Order.


  1. L & O the original. That Anthony Sisto is pretty dreamy.

  2. Enjoy. No I want a beer or wine. Maybe both.

  3. Law & Order IS a really good show...

  4. Dear Mom, I may have been an "overdramatic child" as you like to say, but where do you think I learned that trait?? Hm...

  5. Sometimes I wish I were a lady just so we could get drunk off wine and complain about our husbands. I mean, it's better than being a guy and talking about sports, because that conversation gets old in about 10 minutes. Plus we drink beer, and that's why we all get fat eventually. Damn ovary possessors...they win again.

  6. Dear Mom, You need to stop hitting up the plastic beaches because you are beginning to resemble like a tangerine.
    P.S. Nobody really thinks we're sisters

  7. sounds like a PERFECT night! the one with girl friends and the one with law and order.

    dear mom . . . i know you read my blog. i'd maybe have a little respect for you if you were just honest about it. you need help.

  8. I always prefered Law and Order: SVU. And then I feel like a creep for admitting that. Uh, especially in this context.

    Nothing to see here folks. Just keep moving right along...


  9. Dear God. You had me at two Lean Cuisines, we fell in love over four beers, and I came in my pants during Law & Order.

    But then Lorraine totally stole me away from you because her comment was so very disturbing.

  10. "Dear Mom" is even more fun than dirty word Scrabble.

    Love it.

  11. This is still one of my favorite posts on the Internet.