Friday, April 23, 2010


I really do not like playing Scrabble.

It makes me look dumb. And while I'm not saying I'm that smart, I really don't need people to know that:

A.) I can't spell.
B.) Trying to put together words from a random collection of wooden squares is not only impossible, but also really, really boring.
C.) Isn't Housewives of Orange County on? Shouldn't we be watching that instead of playing Scrabble?

Once I made the mistake of playing this nightmare of a game with my husband's parents. His mom put down something like 'BACCALAUREATE' and I responded by putting down 'HEN' on the board. They officially think I'm an idiot.

Me, my mom, and my sister were all playing Scrabble last night, and I found myself with these letters: U, L, A, M, S. So I took the U and placed it sideways on the board, spelling out CLAMS.

"I'm not sure you can do that," my sister said, frowning, and then pulled out the rules on the back of the Scrabble box.

"You are SO creative, honey," my mom said, patting my hand. "That should definitely count."

My sister shrugged, mostly because she really didn't care either way, and marked me down for 28 points (double letter score!). Honestly, my family is probably the least competitive one on earth- 99% of our games end up in a 'tie'.

I followed that by adding a S onto ROBOT, creating ROBOTS and getting like, 50 points for the whole word. Again, I'm not sure if any of this is legal, but we were all drinking wine and past caring. I capped the game off by adding a sideways V, combined with another sideways U with O and D and added it to my earlier word.


"Clams are less than Cod," I stated.

"That makes absolutely no goddamn sense, and I'm pretty sure you can't use a sideways V to create a greater than/less than math symbol in Scrabble," my sister said.

"Clams are less than what?" Mom asked.

"I think clams cost less money than cod," I replied.

My sister snorted. "Clams cost MORE money, because the shells are heavy."

I shrugged and flipped the wooden V letter.


"That's better," my sister said, and put me down for 72 points.

"I just love clams," my mom said, taking another sip of her wine. "They are delicious soaked in butter and garlic."

Did I just mention above that I hate Scrabble? Scratch that. I love Scrabble- but only if I'm playing with my mom and my sister.


  1. Haha. I totally want to play Scrabble with your fam now.

    You > Scrabble

  2. I bet you would ROCK at Boggle then!

  3. I played Scrabble like three times in my life, and no one ever explained the rules or how points work, so I'd always end up putting stuff like "POOP" or "HI" or "DUDE." I never understood why I lost...I still don't understand. So what I'm trying to say is, your post just confused the hell out of me.

  4. Adding S to the end of long words is the only way to play. That's my go-to move.

  5. I want to play scrabble with you, your mom and Mom does not play scrabble like that. She's a about the rules and likes to point out when I visit that "usually" they don't allow for using the dictionary to search for words but since it's me....pretty passive agressive, right?

  6. I also am a terrible speller, and I also am very uncompetitive. My boyfriend on the other hand attacks any game as if the prize for winning were COMPLETE WORLD DOMINATION. I absolutely refuse to be on his team during games because it always ends with him screaming at me because I either congratulate the other team when the score points, or try to give hints to out competition.
    Awesome move with the < > uses of the V. Very clever

  7. Oh how I love to mix board games and booze!!!

  8. Way more fun your way. Nicely done. You are > traditional scrabble.

  9. I too am a complete lame-o scrabble player (when playing w/ actual "rules"). The hubs? Awesome. Now he plays "words w/ friends" which is scrabble-ish on his iphone and he is totally getting practice.

    So, I passed an award on to you; come by and pick it up!

  10. Damn it. I gave you a bloggy award on my most recent post, too, but Erin did it first. Thanks for ruining the moment, Erin! I'm going to go cry for three hours now.

  11. Man, there I go again, ruining people's days w/o even trying. Sorry, about the Sara. I swear it was unintentional...

  12. I too hate Scrabble. I've never had anything but vowels and x's on my plate. Tray. Whatever. It's bullshit.

    I'm gonna use your V trick, and also maybe find a way to incorporate T as the symbol for "is perpendicular to".

  13. Girlfriend and I used to play Scrabble all the freaking time, then we got busy and overworked, and now every time we play, Girlfriend gets bored after about 20 minutes and asks if we can go watch How I Met Your Mother.

  14. This was really funny. Except I love scrabble and am super competitive about it so I think if someone played clams with a u, my head would explode. Still, I loved this post!

  15. That explains how you were able to nail down 440 points in the game. Although I question whether you should have gotten points for both "laundry" and "laundrys."

  16. See, I dislike Scrabble for many reasons as well. My biggest peeve, however, is that one is not allowed to put a letter on top of another letter. If someone put down "look," and I have an H, an R, and an E, why shouldn't I be allowed to change it to "hooker?"

    The only version of Scrabble I enjoy is Drunken Profanities Scrabble. You get some interesting combinations, like "ducksh*t" or, my personal favorite, "c*ntcake."